Why victims of domestic violence are at war with each other

Letter to the Editor

WHILE violence can be committed by anyone, it is generally directed at someone physically weaker, therefore women or children.

As decades of buried women turn in their graves to celebrate the new era of DV awareness, a war between victims has erupted.

The war cry from one corner is: "Men are also victims of domestic violence!" The other corner shouts: "Rubbish, how many men died this week?"

The domestic violence issue is being tainted by this battle - men versus women. There should be solidarity between victims.

It is not a competition.

The DV issue is between the abuser and the abused - no gender about it.


Men may experience abuse at the hands of women, but they are more likely to be the victim of male violence.
Men may experience abuse at the hands of women, but they are more likely to be the victim of male violence. Thinkstock

The fact that men, who should have the physical strength to protect themselves against a woman, are being beaten is an interesting factor.

Women are often trapped and cannot escape but we should be asking men, "why didn't you escape?"

Women don't have the strength to restrain their attacker so we should be asking men, "Why didn't you restrain your attacker?"

Women often have children to protect so shouldn't we be asking the male victim, "what do you do about protecting your children?"

Women believe their partners when they say "it will never happen again". Shouldn't we be asking men, "do you believe this nonsense, also?"

Women are beaten so brutally they cannot go out in public until their injuries have healed. Shouldn't we be asking the male victim, "What injures did you sustain?" Men are murdered by their partners; we know this because there are women serving life sentences.

(Some of) these women suffered horrendous abuse leading up to the murder - did their male counterparts?

The fact that men are also victims is a goldmine.

Why toss the gold back?

Get men on board.

Discuss what can be done instead of comparing bruises. The war is between the abused and the abuser and should not be a gender issue.


Domestic violence is a scourge on our society.
Domestic violence is a scourge on our society. Senior Airman/Clayton Lenhardt

M. Kelly,


Gympie Times

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