WARWICK woman Marcelle Thompson will forever carry a heavy hole in her heart after losing her only boy.
It's been nine years since Daniel Coorey took his life at their family home.
"All my dreams that I had for him just vanished," Marcelle said.
"I don't care how long it is, it's the missing him that's the hardest.
"As his mum, I have this big hole in my heart.
"Until the day I take my last breathe, I will never be able to fill that hole.
"You feel needed as a mum and he was my only child so, when he was gone I asked myself, what am I here for?
"You start to wonder."
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At 15 years of age, Daniel started smoking marijuana with his friends.
He soon developed schizophrenia and that's when the voices started.
It was a scary and turbulent time for Marcelle, who found it hard to talk about it.
"I just couldn't put it into words to make people understand," she said.
After a five-year battle with his mental illness, Daniel said he couldn't live with the voices anymore.
"They don't think about their family and friends, they just want the pain in their head to go away. They feel helpless," Marcelle said.
"He was a sweet, sweet person. He was so kind."
Marcelle said she was in shock when he passed away.
"I suppose I was a bit naive at the time because I didn't even think of suicide," she said.
"Leading up to his funeral I was just numb and I found myself having panic attacks.
"After the funeral I had to get out of the house."
Marcelle and her husband left town in an attempt to deal with their loss.
To cope with the grief and the pain, Marcelle became obsessed with editing pictures of her son and creating online graphics and talking to others who had been through the same thing.
"You get so scared that the memories will disappear," she said.
"I don't cry as much now but I can still burst into tears, especially on anniversaries and birthdays.
"I can't help my son any more but I can help others through my experience.
"I just want to try and help people with what I've been through."
Marcelle hopes to spread the message of the importance of suicide prevention in our community.
"If you notice signs in your child, you need to ask 'are you thinking about suicide'?" she said.
"I wish I had asked him that."
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